Some Great Advice

Today I was reading over some posts on Facebook and came across a great link to a great blog. The post is titled "Supporting and Understanding the Adoptive Family" from the blog The Kitchen Is Not My Office.

I wanted to share it with you all because it is one of the most tactfully and graciously written responses to the way society responds to adoptive families.

"Often the questions adoptive families and their children are asked are based on misconceptions and lack of knowledge about international adoption. Though the way people respond to us as an adoptive family can be inflammatory, our response must go beyond the inflammation and be rooted in love, truth, justice and grace.

Many adoptive families give written advice and suggestions to friends and family prior to the new child's arrival to help ensure a smooth transition. I didn't do this because I felt like it would be too difficult to put my wishes and feelings into words without sounding too harsh or controlling and honestly I did not really even know what to say. However, after being home for almost a year and a half, it is clear that most people have great intentions but that they want and need suggestions for what they can do to help our adopted children integrate into our family and into the community. Here are a few thoughts about supporting an adoptive family. Most pertain to families who have adopted internationally and also to those who have adopted through the domestic route. It was compiled based on our experience and also on the the experiences of a few dozen other adoptive parents who contributed their ideas and suggestions." ~ Ashlee

We must do our best to respond with the same compassion we have for our children. Our children, who don't know everything, though sometimes they think they do, act from where they are at developmentally and how they perceive the world. We don't judge or condemn them for that, we respond graciously and teach them in love.

I was challenged by this blog post to have the same kind of attitude towards those who mean well but don't get it right when it comes to supporting and understanding us as an adoptive family. So please take the time to read the blog post I linked to above. Thanks.